


And I Am Surviving On You (And Only You)

by Lilsciencequeen



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 5X16 AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chemicals, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Poisoning, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 17:50:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14242596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilsciencequeen/pseuds/Lilsciencequeen
Summary: She turned to him, offered him a small soft smile, showing him that it was okay, that she was okay, but he didn’t seem to believe her, fear and panic was still laced on his face. And then it happened, the burning sensation.





	And I Am Surviving On You (And Only You)

**Author's Note:**

> Me: Hey that was an angsty scene  
> Also Me: Make it more angsty 
> 
> So thus (with the help of Monkeybum1723) this was born

She turned to him, offered him a small soft smile, showing him that it was okay, that she was okay, but he didn’t seem to believe her, fear and panic was still laced on his face. And then it happened, the burning sensation.

She felt her legs collapse out from under her, falling down onto the cold hard floor, her head colliding with it but she didn’t even register the pain, her whole body burning up. She curled up in on herself, hoping that would help to alleviate the pain, but it didn’t.

If anything, it only intensified it.

There was shouting, screaming around her, noises filling her ears, thought she wasn’t sure if her that was making the noise or if it was the other, trying to work out what to do. Her head felt like it was going to spilt, her stomach explode. She had never experienced pain like this before, fire in her very veins, coursing through her and burning her up from the inside.

Arms were under her, lifting her up into a sitting position, holding her up as though helping her to breathe. And that’s when she remembered she _couldn’t_ breath, she couldn’t get any oxygen into her lungs, as though her throat was closing up, something choking her. And she gasped, she gasped and she gasped and she gasped, trying to force the air into her but her body wasn’t accepting it, a trickle of blood or vomit or something making its way down her chin, but that was lost to her.

She was shaking, hurting, everything burning and she wanted it to stop, wanted this pain to end. She didn’t care how, or why, she just wanted it over.

But still, the flames continued to lick at her.

There were hands all over her, leaving burnt tissue and scars behind, friends and family fussing over her, and their voices were telling her that it was going to be okay, that she was going to be okay. Voices kept overlapping, breaking through the screaming and the shouting that had to be hers, there was no one else that it could come from, but still she couldn’t make out the words.

She couldn’t make out the words, and she couldn’t see what was happening. She just felt movement, heard noises as the edges of her world turned black, before finally, thankfully, the never-ending darkness consumed her whole.

***

“Fitz.” The voice from behind was soft, slow, apologetic but he couldn’t take his eyes off Jemma, he couldn’t look away from her. He didn’t want to look away from her. Because he was scared if he did, then she would disappear forever.

“Don’t,” he said, the words coming out of him through gritted teeth. He didn’t want to look at Elena, he didn’t want to face her, not after what had just happened.

“I’m sorry.”

Silence. He didn’t want to reply, not after what had happened. He heard footsteps echo around the room, and felt a hand on his shoulder, strong and trying to offer reassurance.

“I should have stopped her. I didn’t know what would happen. I didn’t think…”

“She nearly died,” he breathed, staring down at her, her body resting, recovering from the chemicals that it had been subjected to. “She nearly died because she thought couldn’t die. Because she thought she was invincible.” He took a shaking breath, trying to keep himself calm. He couldn’t get angry, he couldn’t lose himself, lose it right now. “I told her… I wasn’t going to… I can’t lose her, not after everything.”

Silence, no one speaking for a number of moments as the reality of what happened that day fully washed over them. He was still trying to push the thoughts of her collapsing from his mind, of Jemma, lying on the floor, screaming in pure agony as the chemicals burnt her from the inside out. Seeing her lying there, in-between life and death, shaking and seizing on the ground, unable to breathe… it was something that he hadn’t wanted to see. Ever.

And he had been helpless, standing behind the glass, banging on it as she lay there, dying, unable to do anything until Mack had released him, allowing him to rush to the lab and get what he needed. He thought he had been too late, he thought that he had failed her but he hadn’t.

He had been in time, he had saved her.

She had been rushed to medical in the moments that followed, the ragtag team that had been there pumping her stomach, ensuring that everything was out of her system, then she had been allowed to rest, and in the hours that followed, she had yet to wake, her body needing time to relax and adjust after all that it had been subjected it.

“Is there… is there anything that you need, anything I can do…”

“No.” The answer was blunt, filling the room and it wasn’t something that was up for debate. “I want to be alone,” he whispered, closing his eyes, the tears escaping, making tracks down his face. “Please.”

Elena nodded, not that he saw it and gave his shoulder a squeeze, slightly painful, and then he was alone once again, with Jemma still unconscious in the bed, her chest rising and falling gently, the only signs that she was alive.

***

It was another ten hours before she awoke, her eyes fluttering open, Jemma wincing under the bright lights of the medical bay. She rolled over, groaning and regretting the movement, and it was that that woke Fitz up, the world and what was happening came back quicker to him than it did to her.

“Fitz?” she groaned, her voice a hoarse whisper, barely audible. “What…what happened?”

He blinked a number of times, staring down at her. She was still pale, her skin and ashen grey, her eyes unable to focus as she took in the room. “You don’t… you don’t remember?” he asked, and she shook her head, the sheets rustling underneath her.

“I remember drinking then… then nothing.”

“It wasn’t… it wasn’t the water that you drank.”

“Oh.” Her voice was soft, gentle and so full of regret. “I didn’t…”

“Don’t do that to me again,” he pleaded, reaching out and taking her hand in his own. He ran his fingers over the back of it, a gentle reassuring gesture. “Please, I can’t…” He had to stop, and take a breath, trying to calm himself. “I mean what I’ve said, that I can’t live without you. Don’t scare me like that again, please.”

She nodded, the sheets once again rustling under her and then she opened her mouth, as if to speak, but no words came, but instead coughs, and it was like she was choking. It took him seconds to snap into action, getting of his chair and helping her to sit up. He rubbed at her back as she gagged, holding the dish as she eventually threw up, nothing but bile leaving her mouth.

It was a number of moments before she was done, now sobbing softly as Fitz wiped at her face with a hand towel before safely disposing of it. She was still crying when he came back to the bed, climbing into it with her this time, her head coming to instantly rest against his chest as her whole body heaved with sobs, and he couldn’t help wonder how much pain this was causing her, just how much pain she was in in general. He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her and holding her close as she continued to cry. “I’m… I’m sorry,” she eventually whispered, the confession almost lost to her sobs.

“Hey,” he whispered, brushing her hair out of her face, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m not angry, I could never be angry with you.”

She didn’t speak, didn’t reply to this, just continued to sob as the reality of what had happened, the realisation of what she had done hit her like a freight train. And he just held her, whispering reassurances to her that he would always be here, that he would never leave her, not ever, as she continued to cry.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for checking this out, I really hope you enjoyed. Title from Addicted To You by Picture This (because I never seem to hear anything else in work so now its stuck in my head for the rest of time).


End file.
